“Knowing before you start speaking what Need you’re trying to get met and what your Request is has many benefits.”
– Ike Lasater, Words That Work In Business
Do You Know Your Triggers?
The workplace can be a feeding ground for conflict. The difference between a workplace that leaves you triggered and reactive, and one that stimulates outstanding relationships and productivity starts with knowing your triggers.
A trigger can be word, a behavior, or anything that stirs up negative feelings. Instead of reacting to the trigger – with anger, words or behavior we might regret – you can use the trigger as an opportunity to recognize what needs of yours are not being met.
Self-empathy is a great tool to intervene at the moment you’re triggered so you can choose to respond differently. If an interaction just happened, you can use self-empathy and the training wheels sentence to connect to your feelings and needs:
“When I hear/see … I feel … because I need ….”
Without awareness, a trigger leads you into habitual reaction. Perhaps anger, judgment, or stewing quietly – whatever your habitual reaction, chances are it isn’t ultimately meeting your needs.
Mindful Practice for the Week
This week, try to recognize as many of your triggers as possible. Create a running list describing the behavior, language, or experience that left you triggered, building a new awareness of their connection to habitual responses.